I just spent the last two days working on a post which was all about how tough motherhood is. How I had a really hard time with Tanay and how this time I wanted it all to be different. It turned out to be a pretty longish post too. Then just as I was previewing it, something made me stop. I turned around to see Tanay sleeping next to me in my bed and Dhruv asleep in his crib. And I just hit the delete button. Everything was perfect. All the hardships… all the pain… all the stress just melted right out of that post.

My boys are here with me. Happy & healthy. Nothing else matters.

Being a mother has undoubtedly been the most difficult job I have ever done in my life. The stakes just got doubled. Wish me luck!

As a kid, my mom always told me to never lie to her. She said that if I ever did, she would always find out. Her eyes would be following me everywhere I went. This kinda stuck with me through my growing years. So much so that the other day, I found myself sounding very much like my mother…. saying something similar to Tanay.

I had picked up a box of the mini Oreo cakesters from Wegmans. Tanay loves them and I usually give him a couple in his lunch box. He knows, he is not allowed more than that and definitely not without checking with me first. Yesterday, I was upstairs in my room feeding Dhruv. Tanay was downstairs with my in-laws. His grandma asked him what he would like to have for a snack. He pulls a chair, climbs up, gets his hands on a couple of packets of the sinful cakesters, tears open the packs with his scissors and gobbles them all up. Not only that, he threw the packs in the trash, washed up and even wiped his face dry. Just look at the four year old’s scheming mind. Trying to bury all traces of the crime before the mother walks in. 

How do I know all this? Of course, my MIL told me. So, later that day at dinner time, I was being a little “non- smiley”.

Tanay: Why are “some people” being so mad?!

Me: That’s because “some people” are not being very honest with their mother these days.

Tanay: You mean me?!!

Me: You tell me.. Just remember that your mother has super powers! She knows everything that you do, even if she is not in the room. 

Tanay: huh?!

Me: I have eyes everywhere… in the back of my head… on the sides…everywhere… so you watch out!

By now… he had this glazed look in his eyes, which he usually gets when he is imagining something.

Tanay: I know!! Mommy.. Your are an ALIEN!!

Now that Tanay is a big brother, he is taking his new role rather seriously. He thinks that he is responsible for teaching Dhruv everything there is to learn. Topping the list is an in depth knowledge of Star Wars and of course The World of Dinosaurs. 

I managed to capture one such lesson. Enjoy.

On the way to school the other day:

Tanay: ” Dhruv is a crazy hair guy. Actually, he is a baby porcupine!”

Here’s why….

Little does he know that his own hair is not very different from this. I am seeing myself struggling with two porcupines in the coming future. I am exhausted just thinking about it.

Ever since I have re-entered Zombie land, life has been …. how shall I put it?! Interesting. I am handling the lack of sleep much better than I ever did with Tanay. Actually, Tanay is the reason why it is not affecting me as much this time. My body is already used to it.

Dhruv wakes up every 2-3 hrs to eat… if not earlier. He also seems to like waking up every hour after 3am. Wonder why he does that?! But then I wonder why he does a lot of things. I would rather not get into that right now. I wait for the night to go by, and luckily for me the sun rises at 5 am these days. Kinda fills my heart with joy when I see the light. However bad the night may be, my morning cup of tea freshens me up. It’s only towards late afternoon, early evening that the fatigue starts to creep in. This is also the time when Tanay comes back from school and Dhruv enters his fussy/crying part of the day. So, you can only imagine the mayhem! The only thing that gets me through is the knowledge that “this too shall pass”. (OK.. seriously…it’s not so bad…..at least not yet.)

A couple of nights ago, I was in my glider doing our 3am feed. At this time, I am so darn sleepy and Dhruv is the exact opposite. His big black eyes are wide open trying to look around in the dark room. He also picks this exact time every night to give me the sweetest, lop-sided smile I have ever seen. Of course that makes me go weak in my kness! What’s sleep in comparison to this.. eh?! The li’l bugger… he is already taking me for a ride! OK.. I digress. Coming back. So.. while he was nursing, I kinda dozed off for a few minutes. Long enough to have a dream. Rather a nightmare. Now, for the longest time I have been getting this dream. No.. not the snake one. But the one where, I have a test and I haven’t prepared, or where I have prepared for the wrong subject or where I failed the test. It is very disturbing and makes me really shaky. 

I woke up with a start, sweat on my brow, to find Dhruv fast asleep in my lap with a sweet smile on his face. I relaxed and told myself….”One day at a time….. I shall pass this test too!”

The other day, Tanay got a glimpse of the oodles of extra flab that I have put on. 

“MOMMY!! How much food did you eat?!! Look at your strong muscles! ”

Sigh! How I wish they were muscles. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that all that was ugly flab. Why break his bubble?! Since then, every person who comes home has to go through the ordeal of being compared to me…. in size. 

“My mommy is bigger than you!”

“My mommy is stronger than you!”

I really don’t want to be stronger than anyone. I just want to go back to my small(comparatively) insignificant size. Soon…soon….

About fifteen days ago, Host Monster send me an email reminding me that it was time to renew my subscription. As is the case everywhere, if I did not cancel it, they would automatically renew it. It got me thinking…. since I really haven’t been blogging the last few months. I mean, apart from the stray posts here and there. This is exactly what I had feared. Leaving things half way. I hate doing that. I can still hear my parents’ voice in my head telling me to finish what I had started. Amidst all the thinking, the days passed by and yesterday I received an email from them informing me that the account had been renewed. So, there. The decision has been made. And here I am trying to do justice to it.

I know, I have been away for way too long. I have been busy. Among other things, I have been growing a human being inside my belly. I want to introduce you all to our second son, Dhruv Mehrish. He was born on April 20 at 8:41 pm after what was one of the most wonderful and glorious labor in the history of child birth. I had a great experience with Tanay, and frankly I did not think that it could happen again. But it did! And this time was even more fabulous. If someone would have told me that you can have a baby in two hours flat without any pain meds, I would have laughed in their face. But, trust me ladies….. such a thing does exist! 

It’s been almost four weeks, and yes… life has changed. For all of us. For four years, it was just the three of us. Frankly, it’s still a little surreal. To have this new person in your life… in your home. We are all so in love with Dhruv…. especially Tanay. He has been so great. About everything. He is so tender and sweet with Dhruv. I can’t wait for him to grow up a bit so that I can see them play together. Needless to say, Dhruv has already started receiving regular lessons in the ABC’s of dinosaurs and the various characters of Star Wars. Looks like we are totally going to skip Elmo & Barney. And I am not complaining. Give me Darth Vader over the Sesame street monsters any day!

A new baby in the house = my return to Zombie-land. I have to thank Tanay for how well my body is handling this new bout of sleeplessness. My body is so used to being sleep deprived that surviving on 2-3 hours of sleep every night doesn’t bother me anymore. Now I know why people say that everything happens for a reason. Also, from the looks of it, Dhruv seems to have taken after his big bro when it comes to his sleep habits. All I have to say to him is, “Bring it on!”

Shubham has been a “super dad” through all this. He has totally exceeded all my expectations. He has taken care of me, the home and Tanay in these past weeks. And he has done a fantastic job of it! I had so many doubts about how we would manage. But I am very happy to say that I think we are slowly getting a hang of things. Of course, the main reason why I am sounding so positive and stress-free is my friends. They have been my family through all this…. my strength. They have provided meals….. taken care of Tanay and basically just been there… unconditionally. Who does that?? I love them all and thank God for having brought them in our lives. Here’s a BIG Thank you to Aditi, Pooja, Nidhi, Rupa, Monali, Suchitra & Barathi!!!

Life was interesting enough with my dino boy Tanay in our lives. And now he has got his partner-in-crime. Needless to say, there will not be a moment of boredom in this house from now on. 

Stay tuned.

We had just finished dinner at an Indian restaurant in Edison and we getting in the car, when Tanay saw our server come out to help out a lady with some take out order.

Tanay: “Hey! What is that cooker doing outside?!”

This is currently circulating on my ivillage message board, and I thought it would be fun to try it out. Tanay answered them while he was busy mixing play doh and making a birthday pancake for me. Here are his answers word for word:

1. What is something mom always says to you?

Please drink your water.

 2. What makes mom happy?

Saying “haanji Mumma” (Yes, Mommy)

3. What makes mom sad?

Being bad.

4. How does your mom make you laugh?

Do funny words.

5. What was your mom like as a child?

Me.

6. How old is your mom?

4..5…6..7…8..9…11…yes…you are 11!

7. How tall is your mom?

Sooo tall!

8. What is her favorite thing to do?

Work…clean.

9. What does your mom do when you are not home?

Nothing…maybe clean.

10.If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?

Working.

11. What is your mom really good at?

Studying work.

12. What is your mom not good at?

Nothing.

13.What does your mom do for a job?

Something.

14.What is your mom’s favorite food?

Chicken.

15.What makes you proud of your mom?

When she listens to me.

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?

Ariel.

17. What do you and your mom do together?

Squish play doh.

18. How are you and your mom the same?

Coz we have same noses n same pants.

19. How are you and your mom different?

You have long hair, I have short hair.

20. How do you know your mom loves you?

Coz she gives me so much hugs and gives me kisses.

21. What does your mom like most about your dad?

When he cleans up.

22. Where is your mom’s favorite place to go?

Mehndi. (Indian restaurant in Morristown, NJ)

23. How old was mommy when she had you?

I don’t know… 6?? 7?? 1??  yeah 1!

So, looks like the overall verdict is that all I do is CLEAN. Not too shabby, right?! Also, I am rather relieved with being Ariel. I was pretty sure, I was going to be Ursula!