A few weeks ago, we attended a Math & Literacy night at Tanay’s school. I insisted that Shubham come along. After all he is the math & science guy between the two of us. More importantly, he has way more patience than I have when it comes to sitting with Tanay and going over letters and numbers. In fact, he is solely responsible for me getting through the finals of my Masters. Both of us have very different learning techniques. He is curious, wants to understand the fundamentals and actually enjoys learning. I, on the other hand, just want to get it over with. So…. there you go. 

At school, while Shubham & Tanay explored the different math games which the teachers had set up, a very scary feeling came over me. My baby was all grown up. Even more scary was that fact it was time to get a little serious. It was time to hit the books. I was raised to believe that education was the most important thing and I always knew that educating your child is one of your biggest responsibilities. I just didn’t know how scary it could be! I know what you are thinking….. a harmless Math night and Priya loses it. What can I say… it was like a wake up call. 

So, Tanay & I have started spending a few minutes every day pouring over pre-school workbooks. I say a few minutes, because that’s how long Tanay can sit in a place without having this irresistible urge to start drawing dinosaurs and super heroes (his latest). Of course it all just looks like scribbling to me. But I know there is a story behind every single scribble of his. Shubham’s explanation for his bizarre drawing skills is that his imagination runs so fast that his hand cannot keep up. That’s another thing. Shubham is way more creative than I am and hence sees the creative streaks in our boy better than I ever could. So as you can see, I have some learning to do of my own. I have a feeling that it’s going to be a fun journey.

On a closing note, here is something I read in the latest edition of the Parenting Magazine:

“At age 4 a child is finally smarter than a pigeon, according to scientists at Keio University in Japan.”

Seriously??? What will these so called researchers come up with next??? If this is true then we have just a few months left before we get hit by a sudden bout of smartness.

I woke up this morning with a new found determination. It was time I got off my backside and started updating my forgotten blog. Trust me, I hadn’t forgotten it. In fact, I have about a dozen drafts lying unfinished in my folder. It has just been a crazy few weeks. But, if you ask me just why exactly have these weeks been crazy…..well… I really don’t know. I cannot seem to make a list of things which have kept me busy without sounding trivial. I mean… I really cannot put laundry on that list…. or other everyday boring things. Either it’s the curse of being a housewife/SAHM or I am just plain old lazy and pathetic. I chose to believe it’s the first….. but deep down I am pretty sure that it’s the later.

Anyways, the last few weeks have been busy with a number of wonderful Indian festivals which we have been celebrating. This year, Tanay has been taking a rather keen interest in learning about our culture including getting all dressed up in ethnic Indian clothes. At present we are all celebrating Diwali… the Festival of Lights. Every year we light up the house, eat tons of yummy sweets (but of course!), pray and meet up with friends and family. To do his part, Tanay announced that he wanted an “Indian festival surprise gift!”. groan!

This year, two rather amazing and wonderful things have happened. Diwali goes on for about three to four days and almost always begins with Shubham announcing that he has to travel on business during those exact few days. It sucks big time. Obviously, he hates it too… but well… what can you do?! So I wasn’t surprised when he called me yesterday to tell me that he will be gone for the next three days. But then, today has turned out to be…. in a way…magical. It had been raining all night and this morning just as I was about to start cursing the nasty wet weather…. the rain turned to ice and then to snow! It was actually snowing! I love the snow. But to see it in October was such a pleasant shock. I can safely say that we had a White Diwali! That’s not all. Shubham called to say that his trip had been cancelled. This has never happened before!!! I am so excited to have him home on this very special day. 

As for Tanay, he cannot wait for Diwali to be over coz he knows that Halloween comes next. He forced us to buy a “Horny Devil” (nothing but a red devil with horns) mask from Party City so that we could look cool….just like him. I think Friday is going to be rather interesting, I will keep you all posted. I promise. I am done slacking, Next step is to update some recent pics.

My in-laws are back in their home in Delhi. Tanay is in school. It has been a while since I have been by myself. It’s not that I don’t like it, but I had kinda gotten used to all the activity in the house and the chit chat over tea and snacks. It’s not just me. Even Tanay misses them terribly. This morning, he didn’t want to go to school. He had been having too good a time with them. Why bother going to school when you are having so much fun at home!

Just the night before they left, Maa asked Tanay, if he would like to go to India with them. Without hesitation he replied, ” No. I belong here. I belong in my home in New Jersey.” To begin with I didn’t even know that he was aware of the word “belong”, forget using it correctly in a sentence. I was just stunned by the conviction with which he said that. Damn…. even I don’t know where I belong! Do I belong here…. in the US or back home… in India?! Which is my home? I seriously don’t know! Shubham thinks I am digging too deep into it. Well… I can’t help it. I think I am going to stop now. This post sucks!

A few nights ago, Tanay woke up in the night screaming bloody murder. He kept trying to explain something but I just could not understand. Seriously, it’s almost impossible to understand the words coming out of his mouth when he is crying like that. After I had him all calmed down, it finally hit me. My poor baby had had a bad dream. And apparently the cute little frog faced humidifier was the one scaring the shit out of him. Apparently, he was staring at him!! To put things in perspective…… try and visualize this. At the last count he had 132 dinosaurs and approximately another 100 animals in his room. There is also a Dinosaurs of the World map right above his bed. This was strategically placed by him so that he could see all of them lying down. One would think that the frog humidifier would be the last thing to haunt him. But no…..  we are all wrong. At his insistence, I turned the humidifier around so that the frog wouldn’t face him anymore. And, of course, I had to spend the night on the floor in his room. No complaints. Anything to keep him away from my room and my bed. 

So, the next morning I introduced him to the dream catcher. I had picked this really beautiful one from Lake Tahoe long before Tanay was born. It was time for it to fulfill it’s destiny. Tanay seemed rather skeptical. I don’t blame him. if someone told me that three circles hanging from each other surrounded by weird dangly feathers was going to protect me from an evil frog…… I would laugh in his face. Nevertheless, we ceremoniously hung the ornament next to his bed. Come night time…. he started getting the creepers again. Well…. the spooky frog was facing the other way and the dream catcher was all ready to do it’s job. It was all going to be fine. I assured him. I kissed him good night and walked out. After about ten minutes, I started hearing some noises from his room. When I went in, he sat up in his bed and whispered, ” The dream catcher is not working.” So we shook it up a little bit and gave it a fair warning and I walked out hoping for the best. Fast forward to the following morning, Tanay ran into our room and announced, ” THE DREAM CATCHER IS GREAT. IT WORKED. YOU TOLD ME SO.” Whew!

Now…. only if I could get one that would work for me. Most of you know about my dream obsession with snakes and the like. I desperately need something to fix that. Also ever since I visited my aunt’s place over the weekend, her three cats have been creeping me out in my sleep. I keep waking up in the night kicking my feet around. Duh! that’s because the cats keep coming and licking them. SHUDDER!

This, my friends, is how we look when we are MAD!!! In other words this is our Tantrum-face. You see that mouth open wide…. well… I have seen it open even wider. And just try and imagine the scream that comes out of that big gaping hole. It’s PURE TORTURE. Nothing you say or do can stop it. Unless of course you give in to his whim and fulfill his every wish and command. And if I start doing that, then I will have to request the Walking with Dinosaurs guys to let me buy a 30 foot tyrant reptile from them. Ofcourse, not only will we go broke, we may also end up in a mental asylum. So, what I am trying to say is, I have to PUT MY FOOT DOWN. If that means ignoring him while he lets out these ferocious roars… so be it. I have become quite immune to all this by now. I just let him get it all out. Ofcourse, a full blown public tantrum can get quite tricky, not to mention embarassing. But I am so beyond it . As for the rest of you witnessing the drama…. just deal with it. Because I WILL NOT CAVE TO THIS INSANITY. 

Almost always these tantrums are followed by a very loud, ” I DON’T LIKE YOU ANYMORE!!”. You would think that hearing this from my own flesh and blood would shred my heart to pieces. But frankly. No. By the time I get to hear this, I am so done with him that all I say is, ” FINE. I am not a big fan of yours right now either!”. Childish. Juvenile. Call me that if you like. But I am a person who needs to blow out the steam. I cannot leave it seething in me and pretend to be normal on the outside. We had one such fight at the Air and Space Museum in DC. Shubham was amused enough to take a picture of us sulking.

The other day after one such fight, I announced loudly that if he didn’t like me anymore then I would like to just pack my stuff and go to my mother’s house in Bombay. That calmed him down and got him thinking. Fast forward to next morning, where we were squabbling over how long he could sit in his bath which resulted in another, ” I WANT MY PAPA, I DON’T LIKE MOMMA!”. When I handed over the towel to Shubham and walked out, I overheard Tanay saying, ” Uh oh! She is mad. I think she may want to go to Bombay now!”. And that’s when we hugged and made up. 

I am a worry wart. I tend to get hyper and start to overreact over rather silly things. It was actually quite bad until Tanay was born. Then….. it got out of control. That was the peak. That’s when I slowly started realizing that unless I wanted Tanay to start thinking that his mom is a raging lunatic and run away from home at the age of five, I better get my act together. I still get stressed out every now & then but it’s not so bad. Atleast that’s what I think, although it’s totally possible that Shubham & Tanay may have completely opposite views.

Sometimes I wonder if Tanay ever gets stressed out. I mean, I am sure a toddler’s life can get pretty rough at times. All the alphabets and numbers to learn and the pressure to color within the lines, the time out threats, the constant nagging to eat vegetables and drink water….just to name a few. Just thinking about it is stressing me out. Damn… I need to give the kid a break. Point noted.

I have a feeling that his teachers at school have realized what a hard time the kids are having in today’s big bad world. Yesterday, Tanay came back from school in a rather cheerful mood. So, we asked him about his day. That’s when he forced Shubham and Papa to sit down for a lesson in, what he calls, “Toddler Relaxation”. I guess he realized that we needed it more than him. So, there on the living room floor sat three generations of men trying to get rid of all the negativity that was getting in the way of a happier existence.

As you can see, the technique is pretty simple. Just don’t forget to alternate the “ooh” and the “aah”. It seems to be the crux of the entire process. Try it out. C’mon, don’t be shy. Let me know if it works!

For all those who don’t know me that well, I have never been the one to go on a diet. I actually never needed to. For most part of my life, I was, what you call mal-nutritioned. I know, it’s hard to believe now, but trust me on this one. I used to fast many years ago, much before Tanay was born. And to tell you frankly, that fast was actually not even a fast. It was a fake fast. I would eat a meal once a day, usually dinner. The rest of the day I would eat fruits, milk and other dairy products. My favorite used to be ice creams and a McDonalds strawberry shake alongwith some fries. Some fast eh….. go figure! I am positive that I consumed way more calories than any regular non-fast day. But it was all in good faith.

But after I got pregnant, I just had to stop. There was no way I could get to even lunch time without eating a full meal. In fact, after Tanay was born , I did try to go back to it. But being hungry just turned me into a raging, yelling, snapping Mommasaurus. And I was beginning to hate that person. I just stopped. So, ever since then I have not attempted to go on any kind of a diet. When Maa & Papa (Shubham’s parents) got here this past Sunday, the first thing they said to me was that, ” You have lost so much of weight!”. Ofcourse I have, the last time you visited us, I was 70 lbs overweight and resembling a cow. Also that was over two years ago. And I really did not have to make too much of an effort. The person who was responsible for my weight gain (read Tanay) was also responsible for it’s loss. Although it was a rather harsh, slap-me-in-my-face kind of a weight loss program. However I was happy with the end result. So it all kinda evened out. Anyways, back to the present, Maa is positive that I need to gain some weight. Frankly with her around it’s not really hard. In fact its hard not to eat. What with morning parathas and two course meals with dessert and not to forget the evening snacks. I could so get used to this. It’s just been two days and I already feel as if all I do is eat. And if nothing else there are the irresistible besan laddoos which are HHHAAAWSOME! See, my philosophy is simple. When your mom gives you some advice, you take it. Especially if it tastes so good.

Ever since I was bit by the gardening bug, I am being very diligent about watering my blooming lovelies. It’s not that I really care so much about the plants (GASP! there I said it), as much as I love just being out there by myself with a blank mind just aimlessly spraying water everywhere. You could say, it’s my way of meditating.

It was going great, until one day, Tanayosaurus decided to lend a helping hand. I have a feeling that the plants may die just from the sinister dino sounds which he always HAS to make. And no one would believe me if I had to tell them that this was the reason for the plant massacre. Hence the need to document. 

At first he was little hesitant to touch the hose….. I guess from fear of getting his clothes wet. But once he got over that, there was no looking back. I was fine with that. I just instructed him to water the plants…. the shrubs… the grass. Until, he insisted on watering each and every single piece of grass. I was all, “You don’t have to do that, Tanay”. But ” THE GRASS IS THIRSTY….. CAN”T YOU SEE THAT!?” Well…. this is gonna take a while. Guess we will be having frozen pizza for dinner tonight!

Not only is the grass thirsty… the giant ugly stone, which was put up by Mr. K (previous home owner) to hide the not-so-ugly electrical point, is dying of thirst too….. apparently.

This stone which is on either side of the house is, what you can call, a landmark. In the sense that it distinguishes our home from the rest on the street. From what a neighbour tells me, the association had vehemently protested against it when Mr. K first put it up. Apparently it was spoiling the beauty of the street. So Mr. K took it off for a bit and after the matter was all forgotten he brought them out again. This time no one noticed. I guess they had found something else to protest against. Eh….. I don’t care either way.

So, an activity which used to take me 10 minutes tops, now consumes at least a hour of my time. So much for meditation and relaxation.

When Shubham went to India recently, he spent about five hours at my parents’ home in Mumbai. Just like everytime, my mom asked me what she could send for Tanay. And just like every time, I said nothing bulky. Shubham, you see, is a packing Nazi. In the sense that he hates carrying luggage. If we are going for three days, he will pack stuff for two and a half. I, on the other hand will pack for six. You never know when I may feel like wearing my pink floral stilettos or my raw silk halter top. And what a shame it would be if I didn’t have it with me! So every time mom has to send something with him, she is petrified. Will he take it or will he just refuse. Anyways, I told her to make some cards for Tanay or write him a letter. Because he just loves that and will keep on reading it again and again. So along with that my mom also sent in a pretty envelope with a “letter for me”. Of course Shubham did not question that because…… it was light and could fit in his back pocket.

Fast forward to when he came home. I was delighted to see an envelope for me. But a letter?! My parents don’t write me letters! Very suspicious indeed. I opened it to find a sizable amount of $ as a gift for my birthday!! Shubham was shocked. He had been fooled!! I was like a child who had just been given a bonus allowance! I have spent some enjoyable hours at the mall spending the dough. Most of it at Forever21 coz OMG! I love their stuff! The one thing I realised was that no matter how old you get, you always remain your parent’s kid and its always way more fun spending their money!! So…. Thank you Mom & Dad for the gift! You are the best!

After a long day at the mall, I hauled my bags back home and as is custom, I got ready to put on a fashion show for the boys. I walk out in my first piece and when asked Tanay says, “Mom, you look hot!”. What!!! my son thinks I am hot! That’s the best compliment ever! After the initial euphoria died down, I kinda wondered if that was a word a toddler ought to know. I mean I was not worried about him knowing the word per se but more so about the context in which he used it. So I asked him what he meant by that. He said that the color of my shirt was yellow, which was the color of the sun and hence he thought that I was hot. Phew! atleast he had a sensible explanation for that. But now I had to make sure that he did not go around calling random people hot and more so not at school. So I proceeded to explain that how he must not call anyone hot. Anyone except…. maybe…. sometimes me. C’mon… Its not as if you can pay people to call you hot! So now when asked he says, “Pretty…. you look pretty”. It won’t be long before that answer will change to , “Whatever” or “Stop it Mom! you are embarrassing me!”.

And since we are on the topic of hotness, check out James Mcavoy in his upcoming movie Wanted. 

Enjoy and stay cool!